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Margaret Atwood answers your most intimate questions about her Unotchit remote book-signing device, starting with the rumour that it's nothing but a hoax
By Margaret Atwood
At the end of November, 2004, Unotchit Inc., my newly created company, did a small, by-invitation-only demonstration of the earliest working model of our remote book-signing device. No journalists were invited. No press release was circulated. The point of the demonstration was simply to see what publishers would think of the idea -- whether they would agree with us that this device would expand possibilities for writers and readers, as well as for publishers.
As is the way of the world, news leaked out despite us. The industry magazine Quill & Quire did a small article, as a result of which The Globe and Mail did one, and then -- it really is a global village! -- the news travelled around the world, with the BBC, the Guardian, the Los Angeles Times and Business Week all doing pieces, and many more in addition. We've had inquiries from as far away as Taiwan. Now there's a buzz on various Internet blogs -- is the whole thing a joke? -- and "surveys" have appeared, and editorial comments have been made. We feel we're in the Land O' Magic Rumour.
The primary questions have been answered in the main information sheet posted on our Web page: http://www.unotchit.com. But here, in true Agony Aunt style, are the answers to some of your more anguished intimate questions.
1. Is it all a hoax?
No. It's real. Trust me. You need to have more faith.
2. Is signing a book for a reader the same as kissing? If so, don't the two people have to be in the same room? (A concern raised on a popular blog, by a cute-looking author.)
No, actually, book signing is not the same as kissing. In fact it's not remotely like it, though DNA and germs may be shared in both cases. Anyone who thinks these two things are the same is doing one of them improperly.
For such, professional help is available.
And you don't have to be in the same room with a person to have a meaningful exchange. Think of e-mail, and the telephone, and letter writing and other forms of communication.
3. How can you have a meaningful exchange with a robot that does signatures?
The Unotchit -- which stands for You No Touch It -- device has interactive image and voice, as well as the ability to sign. The author will be there, in real time. So the exchange is with the author, not the signing device. The device merely places the signature and message on the book page.
4. Will this mean that no authors will ever tour again?
Stuff and nonsense! Look overhead, and you will see either a flock of geese or half the best-selling novelists of the Western world in full plumage and full flight. And so it will continue to be, as long as there's a thrill in it for the authors and some cash in it for the publishers, and as long as both can still walk or hobble.
But where do these authors go? Usually, to the biggest cities, and to festivals. And which authors go there? The best known, and those who are being specially launched.
What of the others? The other authors. The other places. They don't get much of a look-in.
Why shouldn't it be possible to send authors to places they'd never be sent physically -- because of the expense -- and for readers in those places (cities, towns, countries, high schools, colleges, book groups) to be able to talk with authors, and to have books signed by them?
Ever tried to tour in a wheelchair?
5. What do you say to people who tell you they'd rather have the author in person? That it's the thrill of meeting the author that counts?
For many - see (4) above - it won't be a choice between the author-in-the-flesh and the remote signing. It'll be a choice between the remote signing and nothing. But as we say (3, above), people will be able to interact. And the reader for whom the book is being signed can get a video clip of the interaction -- what they said, what the author said.
In fact, it's quite possible that the screen exchange will be more personal than what exists now.
6. Does this mean you're now going to spend all your time signing books by remote?
Actually, no. But I'm willing to spend the time I'd otherwise spend driving to airports, sitting in airports, going through security and customs and immigration, and driving from airports, and being ill in strange places, and crawling around hotel rooms . . . all that time I'm willing to spend -- yes! -- signing books.
7. Will getting my book signed by an author in the flesh make me pregnant?
We aren't sure. Ask Neil Gaiman. But we can guarantee that the remote signing device will not have this effect. It's safe! If there are other pertinent questions that haunt your nightmares, the friendly gnomes at Unotchit are willing to answer them. As long as they aren't about kissing.
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